How I Sleep-Trained My 3 Month Old

By 13 weeks, I was able to sleep-train my daughter.

I can officially put my baby in her crib awake and walk away and she will put herself to freaking sleep!!

And she usually only wakes once a night and this has been a regular thing she was about eight or nine weeks old. I had no idea this was possible - but it is! And it’s magical.

If you knew me when I had my firstborn son, I’d tell you I only started getting sleep when he turned 6 months old. Thankfully, I breastfed him (too) and so when he’d wake every two hours, I latched him + he went back to sleep. But before that, some days I was running only on 1-2 hours of sleep. It was brutal. And I definitely felt visceral jealousy from mom’s that told me their baby slept through the night or woke only once.

I was freaking exhausted. I was emotional. I would spend so much time rocking him to sleep even throughout the middle of the night. I read a lot of content about not sleep training your baby until they’re over 4 months old, and even then I was told 4 months was too young. My baby was literally glued to me for every nap. I loved holding him, but I also longed for just a little bit of space so I could truly enjoy him (more).

There were a lot of things I (and we) did as a family that did not contribute to healthy sleep habits and once I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I anxiously anticipated her arrival so I could have the opportunity to organize her sleep.

I finally was able to get my firstborn into a good sleep routine and finally got him to learn how to fall asleep independently, but not until he was about 9 months old. Every sleep regression was also pretty challenging with him.

Which is why I am writing this blog post for you. So you can see what works for me now and what didn’t with my first.

All of the information that I absorbed was from The Little One’s App Sleep Program’s. Their app is incredible + I highly recommend it. You can learn more about their sleep programs here.

What you’ll learn today:

• What to do the first two weeks

• The importance of a good swaddle.

• Establishing a good bedtime routine.

• Sleep associations.

• Feeding schedule/wake windows.

• Nap schedule.

• The benefits of baby wearing during the first six weeks.

• Get to know your baby.

• Benefits of bodywork.

• Side-settling method.

• Additional notes and take-a-ways.

• Download the little one’s app.

The first two weeks.

The app strongly recommends just feeling out the first two weeks with not much of a routine or schedule in place. And I do think this is important (if you’re able to!) because you are recovering, you are sleep deprived and you will never get these moments back with your baby ever again and even if you don’t think you will miss it, you will. Well you might not, but I do. I always miss the hard + painful moments, not sure why, but I do. So if you’re able to, just be as present as you can and ride the wave :) But also trust that you will find a routine rather quickly if you do implement the things I’m talking about and/or if you download the little one’s app!

The swaddle.

Most parents think (and I was once one of them) that their newborn just doesn’t like it and they he/she prefers their arms out. I found this to be the case for both of my babies, but I was able to see it through with my second born. With my first, we used horrible swaddle blankets (and my husband was always paranoid about it being too tight) and we always had his arms out. Eventually, he started breaking free from it so we assumed the swaddling had to end, so instead we got the Merlin Sleep Sack. It was great at first, but as you know, he was still awake every 2 hours through the night and I never understood why until I learned about “self settling” aka sleep training.

Oliver at 2 months, clearly not swaddled.

With my daughter, she started breaking free from her swaddle blankets too, but I read that you can continue swaddle your little one until they start learning how to roll over so I was adamant about finding the swaddle that actually worked. I bought a ton of swaddles: the ollie, the nest, halo, love to dream etc. And she broke free from all of them except the love to dream (that one wasn’t snug enough). What ended up working (and still does) is the B.E.S.T swaddle from Taking Cara Babies. However, see tip #10 on getting to know your baby. My babies tend to run warmer and so I only use the swaddle piece from the B.E.S.T swaddle and I ended up purchasing a more breathable blanket on Amazon and I use a stretchy hairband to tie it at the base, as you can see in the picture.

Brooke swaddled, we did get her transitioned into a sleep sack around 4.5 months!

Bedtime routine.

Helping your baby learn to wind down about 10-15 minutes before their nap or bedtime can help them (and you!) aniticipate sleep and in turn, fight it much less. And try to put yourself in their shoes - when you go to bed, you have a routine wether its super complex or very simple. There are steps you take before you prepare for bed. Same thing goes for your baby except they are just now learning this skill, so it takes time, practice, patience and consistency!

Sleep associations.

I didn’t quite fully understand the concept and the POWER sleep associations can create for your baby until I had my second baby. Babies are smart and they really do start to anticipate or predict your next steps early on. So with my second born, I knew what needed to be done to encourage good sleep AND an effortless transition from a wake window to a nap or bedtime.

#1. Being swaddled. Some people assume their baby doesn’t like the swaddle (myself included with my first baby). And at first it may feel new to them, but eventually they do adapt to it. The reason we use the swaddle is because of their startle reflex. But being swaddled also tells their little brains, sleep is approaching. And eventually you transition them from a swaddle to a sleep sack which I did not know this with my first baby LOL.

#2. Turning on a fan. My babies run warm especially during the warmer months (both babies were born in August). For my second born, we use a small fan by her bed and then a ceiling fan above. Temperature is a sensitive thing with babies - we went from always having it around 71 for my toddler to now having it around 69 degrees.

#3. White noise. We use a hatch and back when I had Oliver, I read some info on Brown Noise and so I always use the “laundry” setting and that seems to work. For Brooke, I actually bought a portable white noise to clip onto her stroller when we are out and about during her a nap.

#4. Song/lullaby. (‘ve never been a fan of traditional lullabies and I didn’t quite start singing one for my first until 9 months. I sing the same song for both babies now though and it really does help. They associate the song with going to sleep. My son hears my sing it to my daughter and sometimes he will cry cause he think he’s going to bed too LOL! And sometimes he will start rubbing his eyes. The sooner you do this, the better.

#5. Sleep phrase. This! Is your ticket. If there’s anything you do, have a sleep phrase and start it asap. After I sing our song, I say the sleep phrase: “it’s time to go to sleep, I love you”. Boom. They know. Even at 3 months old!! And it works great for when your baby becomes a toddler and you can say it over the monitor.

#6. Her own bed/bedroom. My first was always in the bassinet for bedtime sleep, during the day I’d put him in his crib but I didn’t have any.other sleep associations in place. He was definetly confused on where he was supposed to sleep. With my second, I’ve been putting her in her crib since week 2? There have been a handful of times where I did put her in her bassinet or I’ve slept with her on my chest or next to me, but very rarely. I learned that your baby needs to learn that they sleep in their own crib, so its important to put them in their own crib for most naps and bedtime.

#7. Dark room/blackout curtains. Apparently babies do not start producing their own melatonin until after 8 weeks. Before 8 weeks, they have stored melatonin from us (their moms) which is why they can pretty much sleep anywhere. Having a dark room, encourages the production of the melatonin hormone.

Feeding schedule/wake windows.

I am no wake window expert, but I do know what has worked for our family and our babies. The app suggests a specific amount of awake time in between each nap + bedtime, but the wake windows + length of naps change as your baby grows. I do not want to type it all here, so I highly recommend looking into their app or checking out their website/blogs. So the wake windows + feeding schedules kind of go hand-in-hand. I rarely ever nurse baby #2 to sleep (unless it’s during a night feed). But I have (and still do) use a feed as a way to keep her “awake” during the wake window. And it really does work. When she was like 4-8 weeks, I would put her in the bath to keep her awake and that worked as well.

Napping schedule.

Again, this goes hand-in-hand with wake windows. But for my babies, we do a short-long-short nap routine and I started my second born on this schedule as soon as I could. During the long lunch nap (12-2 - give or take), this is when we really work on self-settling in between sleep cycles. Starting off with the side-settling method below actually did really help (see below).

Baby wearing.

Wearing your baby is really nice especially in the early days when they just go to sleep effortlessly (during the day ;)). But it’s also nice even after they hit the 8 week mark. I definitely prefer the Bobawraps!! I definetly noticed that my second born’s sleep was starting to mature relatively early (where she’d wake in between sleep cycles) at about 6-8 weeks and so once I started noticing that, I really put emphasis on trying to help her self-settle. I LOVE holding my baby’s, but it’s a lot more enjoyable when it’s not for every nap and bedtime. I like my space and I know my babies do, too. So when I do wear her, it’s a nice treat and I really do soak it in <3 It’s also nice to take along with you on trips especially if you have a toddler floating (or zooming) around!

Get to know your baby.

AH. THIS. It’s so important. And when you’re a first time mom everything is so NEW and you really don’t have much to compare it to. But once you move onto your second, you know what you want to do differently but you know what to expect from a baby and so you just have a new lens on. It sounds easy - get to know your baby - it can’t be that hard. LOL. It actually can be challenging especially in the first month. Which is why I encourage the next tip below so they are a more relaxed version of themselves, so you really can get to know your baby. Their preferences, their quirks, their vibe, their sleep and hunger needs. Every baby is just so different!

Bodywork.

Both my babies had some sort of torticollis (tight SCM muscle) and my second born definitely has a little bit of a tongue-tie and so any type of body work IMMEDIATELY can really, really help your baby feel a lot more comfortable and relaxed which in turn, helps your baby feed more efficiently and sleep better. We took my second born to both a chiropractor and massage therapist weekly until about 3 months of age and now we just go every 2 weeks. With my first, we only did massage and we didn’t start it until he was about 4 months old… I wish I would have started it sooner.

Side-settling.

This was really uncomfortable for me at first, but it was a great segway into be able to put my baby down in her crib awake for her to put herself to sleep without my presence - which is the goal :) Which is also why the feed schedules are SO important! You want to make sure your baby is “filled to the brim” so they are able to self-settle in between those sleep cycles. One sleep cycle during nap time is 35-45 minutes and then 2 hours through the night. Which the app does also explain in really great detail!!

Side notes.

• Even when you think things “aren’t working”… THEY ARE. You just have to trust the process - so as long as you are getting rest and are eating meals and are not at risk for postpartum depression.

• The sooner you get your baby implemented to the schedule, everything else just kinda falls into place. You’re more confident about what to do if your baby decides to not nap at all or if your baby wakes earlier than expected.

• After I had my second baby, I told my twin sister - “ya know… I don’t think this really has to be that hard. I think it can be easy.” And it really can!

• I remember so many people giving me different advice and I was so envious of all the moms that made it look easy/effortless. People say the trenches are the first few weeks - mine felt much more like the first 6-9 months with my first baby. So if this is you, there really is hope and you really can enjoy this experience!

• Sometimes things don’t make sense until… they do. And remember to remind yourself “this is not permanent” when you feel like you’re in a challenging situation with your baby. It will shift your mind to focus on the good rather than the negative.

Download the app

https://www.littleones.co/pages/little-ones-sleep-programs

I’m sure I’m forgetting something, so if you have any questions, comment below or email me :)

XOXO

Kelsey B.