My Intuitive eating Story + Journey
Written 2022, Updated Dec 2025, Kelsey BennerDieting has been a part of my life since I was probably 10 years old (I just didn’t realize it at the time). I remember my grandfather grabbing my belly and telling me and my twin sister that, “that is too much to grab”. I’m 34 years old and those words still live with me.
My twin sister and I both struggled with our weight and perpetually worried about our bellies being ‘too much’. That moment haunted me for a long while, but since I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to accept it and him.
I stumbled across intuitive eating back when it wasn’t even a ‘thing’. It was 2015 and I had just began my new job as a WIC nutritionist.
One night after work, I was sitting on my bed crying and I remember feeling so frustrated and fed up because I had just come home from a trip to the ER for constipation.
I remember thinking: “How am I constipated? I eat healthy. I workout. And I’m a nutritionist for goodness sake. I should know better!”.
I also remember feeling like there was something wrong with me. How can everyone else in my life feel normal around food and feel confident in their own skin without feeling the urge to “change their bodies” or go in a “diet”?
Everyday, I was surrounded by ten other nutritionists. You know how hard it is to sit in a lunch room filled with nutritionists?
I was on a very ‘low carb diet’ then. I probably had about 10 grams of carbs a day and with that, very little fiber. This “diet” didn’t last too long and it is what landed me into the ER.
It was difficult for me to wrap my head around the ER doc telling me what to eat and what to change about my diet, when I knew exactly what needed to change: I needed real food.
That was my breaking point.
I knew there had to be another way…
So that night, as I was sitting on my bed in tears, I googled “how to not diet”.
2 little words popped up on my screen.
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Intuitive eating.
I bought the book immediately after reading some girl’s blog post about how it changed her life… too.
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My journey started in 2015. It’s now 2025. A lot came up for me throughout those years, as you will see below. I felt alone at first, but the more I got to know myself through intuitive eating, things got easier. I felt like I could focus my time and energy on other things, rather than being so preoccupied with what I was eating and what workouts I was doing.
I remember the first day I decided to try a forbidden food… it was a cinnamon muffin. I ate it for breakfast. I was living with my mom and dad at the time. That first morning, my mom came down the steps, poured a cup of coffee and looked at me like I had 5 heads.
She was used to seeing her daughter eat something ‘healthy’ for breakfast. I felt very seen and vulnerable, but I also felt relieved.
Each day, I ate a muffin for breakfast. With time, the power of food began to feel less intense. I was then able to explore with other foods I wouldn’t dare to have beforehand. And then my workouts eventually felt less of an opportunity to change my body or burn calories and more of a way to release my anxiety and stress.
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I was [very] hesitant on sharing my ‘before and after’ pictures because that’s really NOT what I want this to be about. But I want you to also know, that there is hope and that’s ultimately WHY I’ve decided to share my pictures.
The picture above is me when I was at my highest weight. I was a Sophmore in college and was very, very insecure. My friends had all their shit together and I just remember feeling so alone. I thought I was destined to be stuck in the body I was in for the rest of my life.
I also want you to know that… I didn’t ‘make’ it. I haven’t reached that perfect life or perfect body feeling, but for once, I feel good in my skin and feel at ease around food. Plus, I plan to have babies soon(ish) and although I’m terrified, I’m excited to see how my intuitive eating journey will help guide me through pregnancy and motherhood.*** UPDATED: I have two babies now and intuitive eating without a doubt, has made my pregnancies, postpartum and breastfeeding journey’s so much more enjoyable. Which is exactly what I wanted and one of the reasons that kept me continuing with my IE journey: pregnancy and little did I know postpartum and breastfeeding, too.
Each year since 2015, I’ve learned something new about my body and my relationship with food. This all takes time and can feel uncomfortable at times because of the unknown, but I was open and ready for the change because the way I was living before wasn’t giving me anything positive in my life anyhow, so I figured trying this would at least give me hope.
I know one thing for sure is, neglecting your own needs and ignoring stress that comes up will appear in other areas. Before I got married, I decided to start my own online coaching business without any experience. I had a business mentor that made me feel like I was just a number and I had just spent over $5k (with a credit card) for her to help me and I felt like I just wasted my money on nothing, but looking back - it was totally a necessary milestone for both my IE journey and my blogging business. Then my boyfriend (now husband) decided to propose in the midst of all that. And on top of all that, I had to plan a wedding in less than 10 months. SO, needless to say, I was stressed. I gained weight and wasn’t listening to ME (as you can see in the pics below).
These pictures are just about 7 months apart. I didn’t diet. I started listening to my body and my mind. I quit my online coaching business and just planned my wedding, with ease. I still went out to parties, drank alcohol and ate what my body was asking of me.
Life happens and things come up. Being able to have the tools I have, have helped me when I needed it the most.
If I didn’t have the tools I’ve learned through IE, my wedding planning and wedding experience may have looked a bit different. The old me would have been ashamed that I had gained weight and the old me would have said ‘screw it, I’ll just be the fat girl for the rest of my life’.
How messed up is that? But the me that I’ve become since IE, took things one day at a time. I’ve recognized habits that weren’t working for me and coped with stress in ways that felt right for my life at the time.
Intuitive Eating really is a journey rather than a destination or an end result. The journey is where all the magic happens✨
Eating should feel easy. And it can be, for you, too.
Please comment below or email me if you have any questions, thoughts, concerns etc!! I’d love to hear from you!
XOXO,
Kelsey
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