Why Intuitive Eating is Misunderstood as “Eat Whatever You Want, Whenever You Want”

I see a lot of women post their beliefs on intuitive eating and I think it can be really unhelpful for women that want to change their relationship with food, exercise and their body for the better, long-term.

I saw a story the other day from a woman that has a pretty large following and she said she tried intuitive eating, but i didn’t work for her because “you just eat whatever you want, whenever you want”.

Her post inspired me to create this very blog post because intuitive eating is NOT that.

I started my intuitive eating journey back in 2015 when I reached my tipping point. I was sick of dieting. Sick of all the rules. Sick of feeling afraid of food. And just not interested in partaking in another diet to feel good in my skin. I truly felt there had to be another way and low and behold, I found it and it changed my entire life! (read more on my story here).

I want you to understand how, I believe, this misunderstanding about intuitive eating came to fruition.

As you’ll learn here soon, there is a healing phase and when you’re in that specific phase, it’s encouraged to eat food that you avoid and to explore and understand your unique hunger and fullness cues. Some (most) women (especially if they’re chronic dieters) are not in-tune with their true hunger cues. So, a few ways to identify it, is to eat when you have the desire to eat and sometimes that is pretty frequent. Does that make sense?

When we deprive ourselves from food, calories, carbs, sweets, alcohol etc… our minds tend to be preoccupied with them and even if we do “indulge”, it may not be enough. That is when the healing phase becomes vital.

The true purpose of intuitive eating is to be able to let go of food restriction and food control and believe it or not, it’s more challenging than you may think. It takes time, patience and the willingness to unlearn all of your old beliefs around food + exercise and then learn how to eat more intuitively without expecting weight-loss.

I like to compartmentalize intuitive eating into three phases because it really does take time to learn the concepts and then put them into practice all while sitting with the discomfort of eating foods you normally avoid, feeling emotions and fears about your body and trying to let go of the idea of changing how you look.

Here are the phases:

Phase one is the healing phase. This phase is for the woman/girl that was like me back in 2015: fed up, ready for change and not interested in dieting ever again. She is new to the intuitive eating concepts and is a little uncertain about what to expect, but hopeful and open-minded. I usually recommend her to learn only 2 or 3 of the IE concepts that would be most helpful for her during her particular journey.

Phase two is the adaptive phase. This phase may require a little bit of healing from phase one, but typically this woman has began to understand why she eats the way she eats and how she can actually re-learn how to eat in a way that feels freeing and liberating for her. This phase also is also the phase that I refer to as the “food scientist” phase - she’s learning how foods feel in her body from a very food neutral perspective and allowing what she’s learned to help guide her as she makes decisions for future meals.

Phase three is the embodiment phase. This is her embodying life as an intuitive eater. This girl no longer needs the support of the intuitive eating concepts - she knows them like the back of her hand. This girl looks forward to going out to restaurants, family gatherings and the holidays because she trusts herself around food and feels confident that she can make whatever food choices feel best for her in that moment. She doesn’t dwell or feel guilt/shame if she ate too much or if she ate something “bad”. She honors her body and uses exercise as tool to cope with her days, but also as a way to give her energy and to be the best mom/wife/sister/friend/auntie she can be <3

Each phase is necessary to navigate through and I think a lot of people misunderstand the true purpose of intuitive eating. We all should be able to live a life that is not controlled by food and exercise, but unfortunately our social media feeds are inundated with it and it makes us feel inadequate, especially those that are in a vulnerable place.

I remember hating how I looked that I felt so desperate for the perfect diet to “be the one” that changed my body for ever. That diet never came because it does not exist. Once I weaved through the IE book and really gave myself grace, compassion and patience - the weight of all the things I wanted to change about myself dissipated.

I know it’s easy to just find a new diet and try your hardest to be perfect at it, but the more diets you try, the harder it is. And then you start to believe that something’s wrong with you. Nothing’s wrong with you, you’re not addicted to food and you’re not meant to be “the fat friend”.

I promise.

XOXO, Kelsey