I met my husband in 2013. Long story short, but “we knew”. There was an instant and undeniable connection the moment we met. I was 22 and he was almost 21.

Fast forward to September 2022. We’ve been married for exactly a year (me 31 and him 30) That was the month we started “trying”. Our idea of trying was simply having sex unprotected with no plan in place at all. I didn’t think it mattered. . .

Let’s just say I was absolutely terrified. My emotions and thoughts were all over the place and it really stressed my body out. Anticipating either a period or a positive pregnancy test was emotionally draining. I didn’t want to be pregnant, but then I did. Eventually I got my period - it took 42 days for it to come, normally my cycle is about 34-38 days.

Then October came around. I remember him suggesting ovulation tests, but I kinda just wanted to “wing it” and “not stress” about the concept. That didn’t work. We both have taken anatomy courses in all of our years of college, so we knew how the female body operated but we didn’t think that conceiving a baby would be that time-sensitive.

His dad suddenly had a heart attack and was in the ICU at the end of October and beginning of November. His dad eventually passed early November and the funeral planning began. It was a very emotional time for him and so making a baby really wasn’t on our priority list at that time. We were sexually active, but not consistent. Which emotionally was a relief for me because, again, I was still pretty scared of the whole pregnancy thing. But I was also sad, because I did actually want it - fear was just getting in my way.

Then on our way home from his mom’s house in mid November, we got a text from his brother saying he and his wife are expecting their first baby girl. My heart felt heavy. Like why isn’t what we’re doing working? We thought it would have happened the first time we had sex unprotected. LOL!

AND THEN a few weeks later… I came to work and my co-worker announced that she was unexpectedly 6 weeks pregnant! Again, I felt a little twinge in my heart. I’m like omg… we need to get it together.

That was kinda like my tipping point to stop letting fear take the best of me and I felt in my heart that I was truly “ready”.

It’s funny cause right around that time my co-worker told me she was pregnant, my husband and I were in the middle of using ovulation test strips from The Baby Dust Method. The day she told me she was pregnant, was the day I actually ovulated - December 15!

We literally had sex damn near EVERY DAY (purple dots are “sex days” logged) from the moment my last period ended until a few days after I ovulated (sometimes twice and sometimes on our lunch break).

A few days after that I noticed some light cramping and then by around the 23rd of December, my boobs started to hurt. I was like oh.. my period is probably coming. My boobs continued to hurt over the Christmas holiday.

Also during that time, we bought some progesterone test strips to keep track of my progesterone levels - it was actually kinda cool to monitor this and the test strips came with an app. It’s called Proov. I tested my progesterone for 5 days and it kept rising. Which could mean either a period or a pregnancy. Oh the joys lol.

PROOV app, it kept rising each time I took one. The one test I messed up but all the other ones were spot on. Dec 25-29th 2022.

We obviously hoped for a pregnancy, but we were also content with what was meant to be.

About a week later, my boobs still hurt. No period came. My husband kept pressuring me to take a pregnancy test and I was SO in denial. I’d tell him, “no, I’m just getting my period, my older sister said her boobs didn’t hurt right away when she first got pregnant”. And what if I’m stressed?

On New Year’s Eve, we took a pregnancy test. My husband was persistent, “Just take the damn test already”. I was so scared, but had some gut feelings. We had ONE pregnancy test in our house and I probably had barely an ounce of pee in my bladder. And sure enough…

It was POSITIVE.

He was in tears of joy.

And I was in tears of fear. LOL. Everyone always talks about how excited they are about getting pregnant, but no one talks about how scary it can feel especially for your first time. You literally have no idea what to expect.

Immediately after that, I texted my twin sister a picture of our positive pregnancy test and she Facetimed me right away. She was so excited, but also scared for me, too. She said I said to her, “here we go” and did a face palm.

During that short, but very long moment in time, I secretly knew. But I acted like I didn’t.

January 6 2022 - about a week after I took my first preg test. I’d say I’m about 3-4 weeks here.

Now that I’m almost 32 weeks pregnant, looking back at that moment, I wish I hadn’t been so scared. My pregnancy journey so far has been pretty much a positive experience. Some things that come with pregnancy aren’t fun, but to me… it’s so worth it. Feeling kicks and movement all day long is an incredible feeling.

These little moments will always be something I’ll always remember and I cannot wait to meet our little bean.

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