Our Birth story

I’m writing this for you but also for my future self.

It’s been over 6 months since I’ve had Oliver and I finally feel ready to share my birth story. I was ready after I had him, but I was also in the phase of processing things so I wanted to give myself time to do so.

Before I share it with you, I just wanted to give you the basics. I was in labor for 40 hours, pushed for 4 hours (although the first two I feel like I didn’t really count cause I wasn’t breathing right therefore wasn’t pushing correctly - just overall unproductive), he was born with the cord wrapped around his neck, belly and thigh and his rate never showed signs of decelerations, he came out blue but within 30 seconds he was fine, my OBGYN said the cord was very taught to the point of it being flat so she had to tell me to stop pushing and had to cut the cord while he was still in me, he was born on a blue moon, I had him the day before our due date and I believe I put myself into labor with two methods and lastly, we were in and out of the hospital for NST’s because they wanted to induce me but I kept refusing.

THE DAY BEFORE WE WENT INTO LABOR (SUNDAY)

It was the 27th of August. It was actually the day that I wanted to choose for my “induction date” rather than the date a nurse recommended. She said “it had to be 39 weeks exactly” which I understood but I just so badly didn’t want to schedule an induction let alone actually be induced. We ended up canceling our induction (Aug 24) and was forced to sign AMA papers. All good. They weren’t losing sleep over this, but I was so I really felt it was up to me at the end of the day! Read my induction story here. After we got home from on of our NST’s, we decided to have sex to help hopefully move things along. And then later that night my sister-in-law suggested pumping, so I pumped each boob for 15 minutes.

THAT NIGHT

I felt crampy and Braxton hicks contractions all through the night. But it wasn’t too bad. I almost felt at ease and super relaxed about it.

THE DAY WE WENT INTO LABOR (MONDAY - DAY ONE)

I woke up to my “bloody show” after my husband left for work. I was scared, but also super excited. I felt antsy all morning, but didn’t feel any worse than how I felt through the night. It honestly felt like I just got my period. You feel more bloated and crampy. But that’s it.

My husband left work early and then around 3pm we decided to head to the hospital just to have them take a look because the cramps were getting a little worse, but manageable. It just felt like a tightening at this point, but consistent. Similar to Braxton hicks, but I also knew they weren’t Braxton hicks.

The OBGYN checked my cervix and she said I was about a fingernail width dilated… so they sent me home. But then things took a turn.

We got home around 5pm and the contractions kept getting worse and more frequent. We attempted making dinner and I just kept leaning over our kitchen island as each contraction came. I downloaded a contraction app and my contractions were about 30 seconds long but came every 2 minutes. So we were a little confused a this point. But since we knew I wasn't dilated much, I just felt each contraction.

Around 9:30 pm, I was leaning over my island again and then felt this big POP and then water in my leggings. My water just broke. In our minds we thought, “this baby will be here in any minute!”. We hopped in the car around 10pm and I was gripping Brian’s hands during contractions. We went straight to the ER and everyone was just taking their good ole time while I was in agony!

Everyone was familiar with us and so we finally got a temporary room for them to check my cervix…. ONE CENTIMETER. ONE. Just ONE. Our minds were blown.

Since my water broke, they had to admit me (risk of infection).

Around 11:30pm one of my doula’s showed up. I was so happy to see here. When we first got to the room, I was trying to see what I could handle but it was just so awful. I asked my doula if she had kids and she said yes. Then I asked her if she got the epidural and she said yes and gave me this smirk like “it’ll be okay”. So, I decided to proceed with epidural.

The anesthesia team, thankfully, came quickly. I was scared, but I was also in so much pain that all my fears kinda went away. Once that administered the epidural, I felt a cold sensation down my back and then the pain slowly subsided. Then about 3 minutes later, I was lying in my bed and I told my doula I didn’t feel right. She check the screen, my BP was dropping - 50/30. The nurses acted quickly and gave me a drug to help bring my BP back up and thankfully, it worked.

Then I chilled. Phew. No more pain.

TUESDAY - DAY TWO

Contractions started to slow. They were inconsistent. My nurse, Grace, was fantastic! She was putting me in all kinds of positions with a peanut ball. And every so often, they had to change the pad underneath me. It honestly looked like a period. Which makes sense. LOL.

I remember when I first arrived to the hospital, someone asked me if I was on Pitocin (not sure who, but it was a medical team person) and I was like no, why? And while look at the sheet on the monitor, she said “your contractions are just as intense as Pitocin contractions”…

Looking back, this day was kinda “useless”.. as in we made really no progress. My cervix was slowly dilated and own of midwives had to stretch it a bit to help move things along. I think a this point I was around 4-5 centimeters. Disheartening, I know.

That same midwife was persistent on me getting Pitocin to help move things along even more. But I didn’t want to.

Around 7pm on Tuesday, I finally agreed to the Pitocin after my husband and twin sister were recommending it. I knew all the pain I felt in the beginning was all going to come back and I just was not looking forward to it. I almost felt like I was never going to have my baby. I even contemplated a c-section. I was so exhausted and fatigued and just emotional. It was hard to find the mental and physical strength to surrender to the pain.

PITOCIN INJECTION

They started off slow, but I instantly felt all the pain come flooding back. I started crying. I told my husband I couldn’t do it anymore. He started crying. The room was dark. My doula was right there too. Ugh. It was emotional.

We requested another bolus of the epidural.. and that worked for all of 1 hour. LOL. I felt so much. I was even able to get up, turn and stand on hands and knee’s but this was before they gave Pitocin. After that, I just had to let go and trust the process.

TUESDAY INTO WEDNESDAY

I had everyone leave the room other my doula and my husband. My husband laid on the couch to sleep. I kept the room dark. I played pregnancy meditation music on my phone. Held a fan to my face. My doula sat next to me.

And I just… let go… I felt the pain. I felt the contractions. I breathed. I trusted.

I remember telling myself this mantra “I trust my body, my baby and the people taking care of me. It’ll be okay”. I felt the mantra. I believed it. And sure enough.. things really started to progress.

I felt 4 distinct uterine contractions that would continue to repeat/cycle through. Which really helped give me a feeling of control. I knew how to work through each contraction. The second one was the the most intense. My belly would slowly expand and then slowly go back down.

EARLY MORNING 5am-7am WEDNESDAY

I looked over at my doula and said “I can feel him down by my butt” and she said “great, do you want to hang on a little bit longer” and I said “yes”. But after that I just was ready to be done. So I waited another hour or so and told her I was ready to start pushing.

THE FIRST TWO HOURS OF PUSHING

I was pushing WRONG. It was not a fun experience. Every time a contraction was about to come, we’d wait until it would enter a certain phase and then I’d push. The nurse that was there was very distracted and kept leaving the room despite contractions continuing to occur. Sometimes I’d push and sometimes I’d just feel the dreadful contractions. It almost felt like a relief to push, but after I was done pushing I felt pretty intense low back pain and the only way it felt “okay” was when I would force myself to relax.

BREAK FROM PUSHING

I mean honestly, I was just so tired of being in pain and pushing. I was crying. They told me to get angry and I just couldn’t get angry. I had terrible heartburn and almost through up 2-3x but told myself to suck it up. They have you crunch down on your big belly and it just feels so gross.

FINAL TWO HOURS OF PUSHING

My twin showed up. With fire in her ass determined to help me push this baby OUT. Looking back, I got in my own way. I was so scared to meet my baby for some reason. They told us he had a soft marker on his heart that is sometimes seen in babies with Down syndrome. But they did tell us they’re 99% sure our baby was fine. But that still lingered in my mind since I was 21 weeks pregnant. And here we are, he’s about to make his debut and I was terrified.

While I was pushing, my husband was on my left and my twin was on my right. They would help me crunch my body down while I pushed (I was sooo weak). I’m so glad I had the both of them by my side. As soon as my twin, Kendall, came to my side I started to cry and so did she. She held my dumb fan, too.

BUT THIS TIME - I figured out how to breathe and bare down and we made a TON of progress. Baby’s head was out. My nurse called the midwife and she came in right away (even tho there were 4 other momma’s pushing at the same time!). I guess she saw something and felt better if the midwife was there. I’m glad she showed up! That’s when she told me to stop pushing because the cord was wrapped around Oliver’s neck and he was blue. After she cut the cord, I pushed one more time and boom - he was on my chest.

WHAT A CRAZY FEELING

My twin was like “you can touch him”. She took all kinds of pictures. Even a picture of my placenta. I cried instantly and I really didn't care about anything that was happening below my waist. I was fearful that I would feel lightheaded or in shock - but I didn’t at all. Apparently I was bleeding a lot, so thankfully I was on Pitocin because they cranked it up and it helped shrink my uterus to stop the bleeding. I had a few tares, but nothing major. I honestly felt pretty normal (other than completely exhausted).

I had him at 10:07am on August 30th of 2023. It was nice having him in the morning because I had family come to visit. I was able to walk around about an hour or so later. I had energy for some reason. Brian told me that I should probably sit down and rest. We stayed at the hospital for two more days to ensure no active infection in me or the baby. We left Friday morning around 9:30am. And then I came home, sat on my couch and just processed things.

It still amazes me to this day that I created a human, grew a human and push him out. Things go by so fast, yet, very slow. The days are long but not nearly as long as they were the first few months. I’m finally getting sleep and I’d say that improved around month 5ish. We do co-sleep often, but have been working on gentle sleep training and things are slowly improving!

REFLECT

I had no idea what to expect. Noone really told me much, but I didn’t ask either because I was just scared of the unknown and sometimes I’d rather just ease my own mind rather than someone filing my head with stories.

We do hope to have more little one’s in the near future :)

I think childbirth is so incredible and I really think we underestimate ourselves. I have a lot of friends that share with me how scared they are to be pregnant and give birth and I, too, remember feeling that way but now since I’ve gone through it - our bodies are MEANT to do this and when you are your own advocate, do your research and trust your providers - things will happen the way they’re meant to!